Maybe you currently believe that submission is a swear word as it pertains to marriage. Maybe you even cringe at the thought of it! The word submission is often misunderstood in today’s culture.
Now, what if I told you that there is a way to love and embrace submission in marriage, without feeling inferior, suppressed, or losing your voice? You and your spouse can walk together in harmony — as you both submit to God, you can effortlessly submit to your husband.
In today’s post, I’ll give you a clear and thoughtful explanation of what biblical submission in marriage really looks like, why it’s not a bad thing, and how beautiful and freeing it can be.
If this topic speaks to you, stick around — you might see submission in a whole new light!
What Is Submission in Marriage?
In today’s world, the word submission has been given a bad rap. People often assume it means a man ruling over a woman, the wife having no say, or being viewed as inferior. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
To make it a bit clearer, let’s talk about what submission in marriage is not:
- It is not oppression, abuse, or control.
- It is not silence or losing your voice.
- It does not mean you have no opinions, dreams, or identity.
- It does not require blind obedience to things that go against God’s will.
In fact, the Bible commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church — with deep, sacrificial, selfless love (read Ephesians 5:25-28). In a marriage like that, submission is not heavy or demeaning, but safe and beautiful.
There’s no threat, nor fear. Instead, the wife submits to her husband’s leadership, as he follows Christ. There’s nothing forceful about it. When a wife understands order, she doesn’t view submitting to her husband as a threat.
She is confident and secure because she knows they are both equal in God’s eyes. While being equal, they each have their own role to play — roles that often complement one another. Where she is weak, he may be strong, and vice versa. Together, with God at the head, they blend and function perfectly.
Submission is more of a heart posture than it is a physical act. When a husband is fully submitted to God, his wife gladly follows his lead. She trusts him and knows he’s making the best decisions for their family, while being led by the Holy Spirit.
Many women are already submitting to their husbands without realizing it. For example, when faced with a major decision, do you go it alone or discuss it with your husband first? Chances are, you value his opinion and input. You appreciate his honesty, even when it’s not what you want to hear. His voice matters to you.
Personal Example: This school year has been a bit challenging, to say the least. There have been many days I have contemplated possibly not returning. I come home many days mentally exhausted and fatigued. Naturally, I discuss these things with my husband. As much as I desire to quit on some days, it’s not a decision I would make without first consulting and considering him. It’s a major decision, that should be decided upon together. Does this sound difficult? I doubt it. It’s probably something you already do, organically
When submission is properly displayed in marriage, as the Bible intended, it’s a beautiful picture of unity, harmony, and mutual respect.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
(Ephesians 5:22-23)
Why Submission Is Not a Bad Thing
When I think of submission, I picture the husband covering the home. He is like a guard standing at the door, protecting his wife and children — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He’s always on watch, led by the Holy Spirit.
How could something so genuine and lovely be viewed as negative? Because the culture has distorted its meaning. This is why we must consult the Word of God — not the world. God does all things well… perfectly.
Submission provides unity, trust, peace, and structure within the marriage. It allows both husband and wife to thrive in their God-given roles. Instead of feeling threatened, a wife should feel protected, relieved that she has someone to share life’s burdens with. She can step back, take a breath, and allow her husband to help carry the weight, doing what God created him to do — lead.
Submission isn’t about weakness. It’s about strength under control — choosing to trust God’s plan.
How a Wife Can Embrace and Love Submission
Once your life is fully submitted to God, you don’t question His plan. You accept and understand the order that He created. You trust Him, knowing He is a loving and caring Father. Marriage was His perfect design-nothing missing, nothing lacking, nothing broken.
When a husband leads in love, submission doesn’t feel like a job or duty — it becomes a joy. A wife can embrace it by shifting her mindset and understanding its true meaning.
Personal Example: When I was ready to begin learning how to create a blog (Yep! The one you’re currently reading 😉), I had no idea how to do it. I watched many Youtube university videos. I finally found a young lady that I believed could help me. But her course was a bit pricey. Did I just make the purchase without consulting my husband first? Of course not. I explained what my plans were, what I wanted to do, and we conversed about it. Difficult? Nope. It was just open and honest conversation. Is this your idea of Submission?
Practical ways to embrace submission:
- Trust God first. Then, trust the God in your husband.
- Realize submission doesn’t mean giving up your voice. Make decisions together.
- Remember, submission works best in a marriage built on love, respect, and excellent communication.
- Know that submission doesn’t mean inferiority. Husband and wife are equal in God’s eyes.
For example: You and your husband are facing a tough decision. You pray, talk openly, and listen to each other. Your husband, after prayerful thought and discernment, makes the final call — not to control, but to lovingly lead. You trust his heart and follow his lead, knowing you’re both covered by God’s wisdom. And in that, peace reigns.
Final Thoughts
We are in this world, but not of it. Our standards should reflect God’s original design, not the culture’s definition.
When lived out God’s way, submission is a beautiful gift. It’s not meant for a wife to lose her identity or voice but to walk in unity and oneness with her husband. It creates the perfect partnership, where both thrive in their God-given roles.
A Word of Encouragement
If submission has been an area you’ve struggled with, I hope this post has shed some light on what submission should and should not look like in marriage. It’s not a bad idea — it’s a God idea.
If you’re unsure how to walk in submission, take this area to God in prayer. Ask Him for understanding and revelation. Study Scriptures on submission with your husband. Learn together. Find practical ways submission appears in your everyday life.
Scriptures for Reflection
Ephesians 5:22-33
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Has This Post Resonated With You?
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