Marriage is such an important building block in our world. It is important to be intentional in keeping your relationship happy and healthy. What are some principles that have helped to maintain your marriage?
Jesus Came to Give
Be ready to give, to serve one another. I know that today, folks are being ‘trained’ to take and to look for what they can get. Also, many look for what someone else can do for them. But this is not what the word of God says. The Bible says in Matthew 20:28, “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Our heavenly father gave us his only begotten son. So, here is THE example. We are made in His likeness and in His image. If our heavenly father has come to serve and to give, then I, too, should be willing to serve my Husband. I should be willing to give to him, unconditionally. Just think about it. How do you feel when you do something good for your Husband? When you do something to put a smile on his face, to make his day easier, to lighten his load, to help push him along the way, to get him closer to his goal; you feel a sense of accomplishment. Doesn’t it give you a sense of fulfillment knowing that he is going to come home happy because you have taken time to prepare his favorite meal? Yes, exactly! That is because you are walking in your purpose, to serve him. It makes you feel good inside when you give. I remember my pastor saying something like “you can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving.” Isn’t that good?!?! That is because when you love someone, you feel compelled to give to them. In fact, you want to serve them. I do not know about you, but I enjoy knowing that I helped to put a smile on my Husband’s face. I find pleasure in knowing that I have played a part in helping him get to where he is going- in life, health, business, emotionally, spiritually, in any capacity. I must ask God to help me to be the best help mate I can be to him- to do whatever I can to make his life easier. I do not ever want to see him struggling, nor having a tough time. If I can assist him, I should. My role is coming alongside him to help accomplish his dreams. Do I like to receive? Of course, it is in our human nature to be selfish-to think of ourselves first. But, if I want a successful marriage, I must be able to put him before myself.
Look for The Good
Looking for the good in others must be intentional. If you are in a place, a time, or a season in your life where all you can see is the negative-how much your spouse is getting on your nerves, you are aggravated, and you’re frustrated- you must stop and renew your mind. (Notice: all those statements began with, “you”?…interesting, huh? ) You must force yourself to look for the God and the good in him. Before making judgment, look for the good in the situation. My husband mentioned that “It is easy for individuals to criticize and dismantle one another.” We can easily point out what one has done wrong and look for all the negative things. But we must be intentional in trying to find the good in situations. Look for good in other people and try your best to see their heart. Sometimes our actions do not always match our hearts. In the moment, he might have made an unwise decision or maybe he said something that he should not have said. But we cannot use that, nor should we hold on to it. We must not live life looking at him through this negative lens. I will remind you again, we must be intentional! See him for who he is, as a person. Look at who he is on a consistent basis, not who he is at that moment. We must look for the good. Remember how he has blessed your life. Seek out the joy he brings to you. Recall the countless times he has come to your rescue. Remember the laughter and joy he brings. Look at the life that you have together. It’s these good things that brought you together. It is likely what drew you to him in the first place. So, try to get back to that place when you first loved him. In fact, try to stay there, live in this place.
Laugh Together
Do you have fun together? Do you spend time laughing? Listen, my husband keeps me laughing! Within a relationship, there is usually one that is more serious than the other. In our marriage, Hubby is definitely the lively one, and I am the boring one. Yep, he is the fun and more spontaneous one. He is always telling us jokes and he keeps the laughter in our home. He keeps the energy up in the house and I LOVE him for that. So, who is the person in your house that keeps the joy going, keep the laughter up? Proverbs 17:22 (a) says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” So, keep laughing…LOL!…it is good for the soul. To help facilitate this, you need not always focus on the activity that you are doing, just create time with one another. There may be something you want to do, and he can join in with you. Even if it is not his favorite thing, its purpose is to be with you. Maybe hubby enjoys watching sports. It may not be your thing but do it with him for the goal of having that time together. Just have fun together and be intentional about laughing. Being able to look back and laugh at situations shows growth. In this life, things’ will happen. Sometimes these things come to upset us and frustrate us. When you reach that place that you can look back and laugh about it, it is a Blessing. You have to get to the place where you can look at that situation and say to it, “you’re not going to steal my joy. We are still going to be happy. We are still going to keep laughing, keep moving, and keep trusting God.” Remain joyful and full of peace. Be intentional, as I said about laughing together, and crack jokes on another. My husband and I crack jokes on each other all the time. It just keeps the whole house fun. It helps maintain a level of peace and makes for a pleasant environment-even amongst our children. We love to laugh! …did, I mention that “we laugh a LOT?!” …LOL! And I love it!
This One is Free (but the MOST important)
PRAY! Make sure that you are praying together. This is not really a tip. Instead, it is more like a must. We should be doing this all the time. I know sometimes we may get away from it, but now is the time to get back to it! There are seasons where my husband and I pray together, and then we do not remain consistent – me being transparent. But we really should be praying together on a daily basis because there are two people in a marriage. Two do not always agree, so we need Jesus to lead us, humble us, guide us. He is at the Head of us. In a marriage, we have the same goals for our family and are headed in the same direction. We have a plan for our marriage, so we need to come together to pray, to cover our family, to cover our neighborhood, our city, our country, and our world. Being together in prayer creates unity and strength. This may be obvious, but in case it is not, here it is- we should also be praying for one another 😉 We should be covering our husband each day, throughout the day. Likewise, husbands should be praying for wives. When we part ways to leave the house every day, we do not know where we are going to encounter. We do not know who we will encounter. But we do know that once we pray, we are covered in the blood of Jesus. So, no matter what we encounter, our Father has gone before us. The blood of Jesus is covering us, and our steps are ordered. He will show us which way to go, which way to turn, to whom to talk. He will even show us which way to drive to work. Sometimes we are on autopilot, and we are going our usual route, but when we seek God at the beginning of our day, we can hear when He has a different plan for us. He also guides our conversations. My hubby is always talking to people at work. He often comes home and tells me about a conversation he has had with a certain person that day. He has deep conversations with people. I know it is his gift. He loves talking to people and helping them navigate their situations-especially relationships. We love marriage. We love to see people getting married. We love to see people staying married. Prayer is KEY!
Conclusion
Marriage is the cornerstone of strong families. Strong families create strong people. Strong people in turn, create strong communities. And it continues building upon one another. Keep God at the head of your marriage. Make sure that you are praying together and covering with one another in prayer. Make sure you are ready to serve. Laugh together and always look for the good.
Please Share: What are some fundamentals (or activities) that have helped keep your marriage healthy and strong?
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