Upon flipping through my one of my (many) journals yesterday-the one I use for church, scripture, messages, etc. I began to notice a common theme from June-July of 2024…it was the word “Conversations”. My Pastor had been speaking about Conversations quite extensively. I thought, ‘hmmmm…this is quite interesting’-NOT coincidental. God does all things well, and in His perfect timing. This I am very aware of, especially now, during this season of my life. I am always watching, listening, and trying to be still/quiet long enough to ‘get’ what He’s trying to tell me.
Stay tuned to learn more about Conversations, like:
*the rules
*their importance
*their purpose
*the roles
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The Importance of Conversations
At this moment, I am currently working with an amazing Coach, and during a few of our coaching calls, it has been brought to my attention that “Conversations” really are a BIG deal. This is how you can hear a person’s heart. When you just remain quiet long enough, and really listen; you really gain insight into the person’s wants, needs, desires, dreams, and more.
I am also reminded of something I heard (1 of the SalesGirls) Macy say, “The one who is listening is the one in control”. I know that may sound counter-intuitive, especially in today’s society-where the one making the most noise, drawing the most attention is the one that ‘gets the prize’. Well, actually they don’t! The loudest person might get the most attention…but do they actually win? That would depend on what defines the “win”? Ask yourself these questions:
*Was the goal or mission accomplished?
*Is your heart in a posture to ‘serve’ (to help this person)?
*Do you walk away feeling like you have solved a problem?
*Do you have a plan/strategy being formulated in your mind that could possibly solve their problem?
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What is a conversation?
(via-Google Dictionary)- a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged
Within a conversation there are (generally) two parties. There is one that is speaking and the other is the one listening. As the conversation proceeds, the speaker and the listener take turns within each role throughout the conversation.
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How Are Your Words Being Used?
I remember my husband saying, “words are what children use to get what they want or to create the world they want. They use them like currency”. The more I think about this, I realize it does have some truth to it. As a child, children are subject to their parents (or teachers). They don’t necessarily have control over anything. So, they use their words to craft messages, in an effort to get their needs and desires fulfilled. As a teacher, this is a phenomenon that I witness on an everyday basis. Some children use their words to try to dominate and control one another, while others use them to make friends and show kindness. But, words should mainly be used for good. In this classroom scenario; words should be used to encourage, uplift, and build relationships in order to assist the learning environment. Children can use their words to be kind to one another, and to build friendships and bonds. On the other hand, they can be used to create tension, strife, and to manufacture fear within other students. Choices.
Teacher: As an educator there is a choice on how to use our words to create the type of environment we want in our classroom. We can choose to focus on the negative and break the student down-emotionally. Or we can choose to intentionally focus and look for the good in them One definitely takes more ‘work’ than does the other. As a teacher, I must try my best to use my words while focusing on the positive aspects. Truth is, we are more likely to get more positive results from our students with words that encourage and focus on their positive traits.
Mom: There are constant ongoing conversations between us and our children. Children are often expressing their thoughts and often letting us (parents) know what they want/like/desire. As a Mom, think about how you are using your words with your children. What types of conversations are you having? Moment of Transparency: This is something I had to stop and contemplate recently. A lot of my conversing with my (two youngest) sons happen in the early morning. Once I wake them, I’m making sure they:
* brush their teeth
*shower
*finish eating breakfast
*get dressed for school
*pack their backpacks
…and the list goes on-all within about 60-75 minutes. It feels a bit intense some days, trying to get it all done, and get out of the house by 7:15am (at the latest). It all just feels so rushed and I often become anxious-especially when I glance at the clock. I find that many of our morning ‘conversations’ are of ‘me rushing/hurrying them’ along …to finish getting ready. I feel so guilty some days. ☹ So, after this realization, I told myself that I must become more intentional with our conversations. I must be sure to make time in the day to have relaxed and enjoyable chats with them. When I pick them up from school, we chat about their day, what happened, etc. But they often talk with one another. I guess it’s their time to ‘catch up’, since they’ve been apart for about seven hours. Then they begin their homework during the ride home. So, some of these (intentional) conversations often happen at the dinner table and before bedtime when we chat and read a book.
Wife: As a wife, there are always ongoing conversations between us and our husbands, right? There should be! Conversations are vital between the two of you. Think on this: During your conversing with Hubby, Are you putting your words to good use? How are you using your words within your marriage relationship? Are you using them to create the world what you desire to see/have/become?
Depending on the nature of the conversation, you should be aware of how to proceed. The way you interact within each conversation depends on the purpose, weight, urgency, and more. You must become so attentive during these conversations with Hubby that you are able to determine whether he needs you to simply listen, or if he needs your help solving a problem. For instance, on the drive home he may just want to discuss his day at work-what happened, who he spoke with, how it went, etc. On another day-same time, on the drive home- he may need your advice on how to proceed. Maybe he had a conversation with the boss that day, and he isn’t sure how to interpret all that was discussed. Maybe you can help shed some light on this matter. Maybe the conversation is his way of asking for your help, without even saying those words.
I can definitely relate. How about you? There are some days when I just want to vent-get out all my frustrations about what happened during that day. Then, there are some days when I need Hubby to help me navigate a situation or interpret what the meaning of a conversation is. He often tells me that I’m ‘all the way down the street and around the corner’, though it hasn’t actually happened yet. Yes, it’s true. I’m guilty! Sometimes I’ve already ‘come to a conclusion’ about how something is going to go, even though I haven’t yet experienced it. The mind…. (this is why we must take every thought captive)
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Why do we have Conversations?
What are our words for? Why do we have this ability to communicate with one another? Adam knew. In fact, he got it pretty early on. According to Dr. Bill Winston in his book, Moving Up to 4-D, he says, “Adam was aware that his words were mainly for accomplishing or creating something rather than for merely expressing his thoughts and opinions.” OOOHHHH!!! That’s what I felt and thought the first time I read that sentence. In fact, it hit me so hard that I had to read it over and over a few times to really allow it to sink in. “I’ve been using my words for the wrong purpose…for all these years”, I thought to myself. It seemed so simple, but was so compelling. SO profound! SO powerful! We are supposed to be like our Creator. Afterall, we are created in His image. So, we have a responsibility to do as He did… and use our words to create! That’s what He did, right! Think back to the book of Genesis, When God spoke, things came into being. He used His words (which are used in conversations) to create it all, even you and I.
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Idle Words
We must be careful not to use our words for useless chatter-not intended to accomplish anything. We have all been guilty of this, right? Sometimes we just feel the need to get the thoughts out of our heads, so we have conversations-about what we think or how we feel. But, what are these types of conversations ‘doing’? Every word we speak is accounted for. In Matthew 12:36 it says, But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.
Important Note: It doesn’t necessarily matter how you feel or what you think, but what The Word of God says. Now that you are aware of this principle, does it change the way you view your speaking? It’s true purpose? How about the people you have conversations with? Did someone specific come to mind? Is it usually plenty of meaningless chatting with this person? Perhaps you need to reconsider the frequency of conversing with this person. Or maybe you have to become more intentional about steering the conversation. Whatever it is, DO it! You are now equipped with some truth about conversations. Apply it!
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Quick Recap
-Be intentional with your words (spouse, children, work)
-Identify the purpose of the conversation (not necessarily verbally)
-Remember Adam
-Understand when to listen and when to speak
-Don’t speak idol words
-Use conversations as a way to learn about others
✅ CALL TO ACTION:
Try one of these strategies in your next conversation and watch the difference it makes!
Has This Post Resonated With You?
If so, share it with a friend or drop a comment below. What part spoke to you the most? I’d love to hear from you.
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