You’ve Been Lied To
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Maybe I’m just not enough”? Or, “If I had just made better choices, I’d probably be married by now.” Maybe you’ve whispered, “Something must be wrong with me”, while scrolling past another engagement post or baby announcement.
These thoughts feel so personal, so believable. They settle quietly into the corners of your heart and shape the way you see yourself, your relationships, and even God.
But here’s the truth: you’ve been lied to.
The enemy of your soul is subtle but strategic. He whispers lies that sound like truth, hoping you will live your life based on falsehoods instead of faith. Lies keep you stuck. Lies weigh you down. Lies block your ability to walk in confidence and peace as a daughter of God.
But there’s good news: you don’t have to live that way.
You can confront the lies, expose them, and replace them with something far more powerful-God’s truth.
✨ Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.- John 8: 32 (NIV)
This blog post is for every single woman who has silently carried limiting beliefs about her worth, her timeline, and her future. We’re about to shine light on the darkness and walk boldly in freedom. Let’s confront these lies together- one by one.
Where Do These Lies Even Come From?
You didn’t wake up one day and decide to believe lies about yourself. These thoughts often come from repeated messages you’ve absorbed- some obvious, others disguised as wisdom or concern:
- A well- meaning aunt who keeps asking, “why are you still single?”
- A break up that made you feel disposable
- Comparison on social media that tells you everyone else is ahead in life
But even deeper than those outside influences is a spiritual battle happening in the unseen.
Jesus called satan “the father of lies” (John 8: 44). His strategy hasn’t changed since the garden of Eden- get you to question God’s word, God’s goodness, and your identity.
💬 “Did God really say…?” That’s how it started with Eve. And that’s how it still starts today. When these thoughts go unchallenged, they begin to feel true. Over time, they shape how you see your singleness, your value, and even your relationship with God. But no more. It’s time to put these lies on trial.
🤥Lie Number One: “I’m not enough.”
- What this looks like practically (comparing yourself, second- guessing, fear of rejection)
- The truth: You are complete in Christ.
✨Scripture: Colossians 2: 10- You are complete in Him….
This one comes in all kinds of voices:
- “If I were prettier, thinner, or had a better personality, maybe someone would have chosen me by now”
- “I intimidate men”
- “Maybe I’m too much… Or maybe I’m not enough.”
This lie is especially cruel because it attacks your identity. It just doesn’t say, “You made a mistake.” It says, “You are a mistake.” It wraps itself around your confidence like a heavy blanket and keeps you from showing up fully as the woman God created you to be.
If you’ve ever believed this lie, I want you to know: you are not alone. This is one of the enemy’s favorite tactics against single women, especially those who are faithful, committed, and doing their best to walk with God. Why? Because a woman who knows her worth is powerful- and a woman who doubts it is easily manipulated.
💥What This Lie Does to You:
- You settle for relationships that don’t honor you.
- You shrink back in conversations or environments where you were meant to shine.
- You overperform, over-give, or over-function in an attempt to “earn” someone’s love.
- You hide your God-given gifts because you’re afraid they make you too much.
But here’s the truth you need to hold onto today:
✨ And you are complete in him, who is the head of all principality and power- Colossians 2: 10
You are not half of a whole. You are already whole in Christ.
Marriage doesn’t complete you. A man doesn’t define you. Your worth doesn’t hinge on how someone else sees you- it’s anchored in The One who made you.
God didn’t create you and then leave you lacking. He didn’t forget something when He knit you together. You are not missing a piece- you are full, equipped, chosen, and deeply loved.
The truth is, you’re not “too much” or “not enough”- you are just right for the purpose God has for you. The more you begin to see yourself the way God does, the less those old lies will have power over you.
🤥Lie Number Two: “I missed my chance.”
- This could stem from past mistakes, age, or broken relationships.
- The truth: God is a Redeemer of your time and your story.
✨Scripture: Joel 2:25-“I will restore to you the years…”
This one usually sounds like:
- “If I had married him back then, I’d be happy by now.”
- “Everyone else is ahead of me- maybe I missed my window.”
- “I’ve made too many mistakes… maybe God gave up on the plan.”
This lie can creep in slowly, especially as the years passed, birthdays come and go, and you attend yet another wedding where you smile through the photos but go home feeling behind.
It’s the lie that whispers, “Your best days are behind you”.
And nothing could be further from the truth.
🧠 What This Lie Does to You:
- You replay past decisions with guilt or regret.
- You question if you’ve “disqualified” yourself from marriage. You obsess over timelines- I need to be married by X age, or it’s too late.
- You become anxious and reactive, trying to force something to happen.
But here’s what God says to you:
✨I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten… Joel 2:25 (ESV)
God is not bound by your age, your past, or a specific timeline. He’s the Redeemer of time, not a slave to it. You haven’t missed your moment- He’s still writing your story.
Think about Ruth. She wasn’t in her teens or early twenties when she met Boaz. She had experienced widowhood, loss, and uncertainty- but her obedience and faith positioned her for redemption. And the same God who rewrote Ruth story is still at work and yours.
Even if you’ve made mistakes… even if you waited longer than you expected… even if others seem “ahead of you”- you are not late. You are right on time with God.
Don’t let the enemy use clocks and calendars to make you question God’s plan. Your story is still unfolding- and He’s still in control of the pen.
🤥Lie Number Three: “There’s something wrong with me.”
- The shame that grows from this lie.
- The truth: You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
✨ Scripture: Psalm 139: 14
This lie doesn’t always shout. Sometimes, it just lingers- quiet and subtle, like a background hum you can’t turn off.
- “Why do I keep getting passed over? “
- “Why didn’t he choose me?”
- “What do other women have that I don’t?”
It’s the kind of lie that doesn’t just bruise your heart- it bruises your identity. It suggests that there’s some hidden flaw in you, something broken or unlovable, and that’s why you’re still single.
I remember wrestling with this lie deeply. Before I got married, there were seasons where I wondered if I was just “too complicated” to love. As a single mom, I worried that my story was too messy or that a Godly man wouldn’t want someone with a “past.”
There were moments- hard moments- where I’d sit with my journal, writing through tears, asking God I was disqualified.
But God is so kind. Over time, He began to show me that the very parts of my story I thought were disqualifiers were actually the things He had redeemed. He wasn’t looking for perfection- He was looking for surrender. And in that surrender, I began to see myself the way He did: whole, valuable, and already loved.
💥What This Lie Does to You:
- You live in shame, even after God has forgiven you.
- You’ll become overly self-critical or hyper-aware of flaws.
- You assume rejection is personal proof of being not lovable. You isolate yourself to avoid further hurt.
But here’s the truth God wants you to grab onto today:
✨ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well– Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
You are not broken. You are not too much. You are not unworthy.
You are God’s masterpiece, not His mistake.
You were handcrafted with intention, on purpose, for a purpose.
Even the parts of your story that carry pain or mistakes are still usable in the hands of a Redeemer. And if someone walks away or overlooks you, that is not proof of your defect- it’s protection for your destiny.
Please hear this: there is nothing wrong with you. There may be things God is still maturing, healing, or transforming- but that’s true for all of us. It doesn’t make you less lovable- it makes you human.
🤥Lie Number Four: “I have to settle.”
- Fear of being alone leading to compromise
- The truth: God’s best is worth the wait.
✨Scripture: Psalm 27: 14- Wait for the Lord…
This lie is a sneaky one. It often disguises itself as wisdom or “being realistic”. It says:
- “Maybe I just need to lower my expectations.”
- “There aren’t many Godly men out there- I should just pick someone who’s close enough.”
- “What if this is the best I can do?”
When the waiting gets long and hope grows weary, the temptation to settle can feel strong. You start to wonder if it’s worth holding out for God’s best… or if “good enough” is the only option left.
But settling isn’t about adjusting your preferences. It’s about compromising your purpose. And that’s too costly.
💥What This Lie Does to You:
- You accept behavior that dishonors your values.
- You silence your convictions to keep peace in a relationship.
- You ignore red flags or make excuses for them.
- You rush ahead of God’s timing, thinking you’ll “fix things later”.
But here’s what God’s word says:
✨ Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!– Psalm 27: 14 (ESV)
Waiting is not punishment. Its preparation.
It’s not a delay because something’s wrong with you- it’s a pause because God is making something right for you.
God’s best is not always flashy, but it is always fruitful. And if He’s asking you to wait, it’s not to tease you- it’s to protect you. The wrong relationship can drain your purpose, dim your light, and derail your calling.
Don’t give your “yes” to someone just because you’re tired of hearing “no”.
You don’t have to settle to be seen. You are already seen, loved, and deeply known by your father in heaven.
🤥Lie Number Five: “God is holding out on me.”
- This lie mirrors were Eve believed in the garden.
- The truth: God is good and gives good gifts.
✨Scripture: James 1:17- Every good and perfect gift…
This lie goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden.
It’s the one the serpent whispered to Eve:
“Did God really say…?”
“God just doesn’t want you to be like Him…”
“You are missing out”. (Genesis 3)
Satan didn’t have to attack Eve’s body or her marriage- he just had to make her question God’s character.
And he does the same thing with us.
*” If God really loved me, I’d be married by now.”
*” He’s answering everyone else’s prayers but mine.”
* “Maybe God’s holding back the one thing I truly want.”
This lie cuts deep because it plans the idea that God can’t be trusted with our hearts, our desires, or our future.
💥What This Lie Does to You:
- You grow resentful toward God or distance yourself from him
- You start to take matters into your own hands
- You carry hidden bitterness or feel ashamed for wanting more
- you interpret delays as punishment instead of divine protection
But here’s the truth: God is not holding out on you.
✨ Every good and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning– James 1:17
God doesn’t tease His daughters. He doesn’t dangle promises like a carrot, just to watch you suffer. He is not withholding good from you- He’s storing it up, preparing it, and protecting you from things you can’t yet see.
God’s delays are never meant to destroy your hope. They are designed to build your trust. If He says “not yet”, it’s not rejection- it’s redirection.
In the meantime, He invites you to draw closer. He wants to walk with you, heal you, and strengthen you for all that’s ahead. Marriage may be a part of the journey- but it’s not the end goal. He is.
He is the Giver, and He is good. Period.
Replacing Lies with Truth: How to Fight Back
- Practical steps:
*Identify the lie.
* Examine the root.
* Replace it with truth (Scripture)
* Declare truth aloud, regularly
- The power of renewing your mind (Romans 12: 2)
By now, you’ve probably recognized at least one lie that’s tried to take root in your heart. Maybe more than one. But here’s the beautiful thing: awareness is the first step toward freedom.
Now, it’s time to fight back- with truth.
The enemy’s strategy is deception, but God’s strategy is renewal. He doesn’t just want you to “stop thinking negatively”. He wants to transform your thinking so your life can reflect His truth.
✨Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind– Romans 12: 2
So how do you actually replace lies with truth? Here’s a- step-by-step guide to help you begin that process.
✅1. Identify the Lie
Ask Yourself:
- What lie have I been believing?
- Where did it come from?
- How has it affected my choices or mindset?
📌Example: “I believe I’m not enough because I’ve been rejected in the past.”
✅2. Find the Truth in Scripture
Search the Bible (or ask the Holy Spirit in prayer) for what God says about that lie. Write it down- word for word.
📌Truth: I am complete in Christ.-Colossians 2:10
✅3. Speak Truth Out Loud Daily
Words are powerful-especially when spoken. Declare God’s truth over yourself like a weapon:
🔉”I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
🔉”I lack nothing because God is my Shepherd”.
🔉”I won’t settle-God’s plan for me is good”
Even if you don’t feel it yet, speak it. Faith grows by hearing.
✨Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God-Romans 10:17
✅4. Replace, Don’t Repeat
Instead of constantly trying to resist a lie, replace it with truth. If you just try to “stop thinking negatively”, your mind will go back to default. Fill that space with something better-God’s voice.
📌For Example: When the lie says: “You’re behind in life”
🩷Replace it with: “God makes everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
✅5. Keep a “Truth Journal”
Start a special section in your journal where you write down lies you’ve believed- and beside them, the truths you are choosing instead. Revisit these often. Let it become a written record of your renewed mind.
✅6. Surround Yourself with Truth-Tellers
We all need people who will remind us of God’s promises when we forget. Stay in community with other Godly women. Join a Bible study, mentorship group, or even a faith-filled group chat.
You don’t have to fight lies alone.
💌Closing Encouragement: You Don’t Have to Live in These Lies
If you’ve made it this far, I want to honor you.
Not everyone has the courage to confront the thoughts that have shaped them. But you did. You showed up, you opened your heart, and you allowed God’s truth to shine light into dark places.
That’s how freedom begins.
Friend, the enemy wants you to believe you’re stuck. That your identity is tied to your relationship status. That your worth is negotiable. That your best days are behind you. But none of that is true.
You were made in God’s image. You are loved beyond measure.
You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming.
And even now-while you’re still waiting, still healing, still hoping-God is working behind the scenes to bring His promises to pass. Your job isn’t to force it. Your job is to believe Him. Trust Him. Walk with Him.
Every lie loses power when you choose to believe what God has said instead.
✨Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.-John 8:32
📣Come Back Next Week- Week 3: “Becoming the Woman You Were Designed to Be”
Next week, we’ll shift our focus from breaking lies to building identity.
You’ll learn how to embrace wholeness, confidence, and pursue purpose in your single season- without apology and without delay.
Which “lie” spoke to you the most? PLEASE let me know, in the comments. I LOVE to hear from you 😉
*If this post Blessed you, would you share it with another sister or friend?
*If you need prayer, drop a comment or DM me on Instagram. You’re not alone in this.
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We’re in this together—and I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
💛 With Love and Purpose,
Tamyia
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