Over the past six weeks, we’ve been on a journey together-not just about preparing for marriage, but about becoming whole-the kind of woman that God honors in every season, especially this one.
Whether you read every post or just caught a few along the way, I want to say Thank You. Your desire to grow, heal, and position your life and heart with God’s timing and His truth is a beautiful act of Faith.
This series, Becoming Her Before the Ring, was never about pursuing a relationship. Instead, it was about you. It was about you becoming whole, wise, spiritually stronger, and trusting in God-before the ring, the vows, or the big wedding day. It was about becoming her-the woman that doesn’t just wait, but prepares. The woman who prays, reflects, grows, and trusts. The woman that walks closely with The Lord and allows Him to mold her from the inside, out.
As we wrap up this series, I want to pause and think about what we have learned, how God maybe speaking to you right now, and how you will continue to grow after this blog post ends.
Week 1 – Becoming Whole, Not Just Waiting
We kicked off by shifting our focus from passively waiting for a man to actively becoming whole in Christ. Singleness is not a holding cell—it’s a season of purpose.
During your single season you are not just sitting around and thinking about how much you want to be married. You are pursuing your dreams. You are making steady self-improvements. You are growing and moving in the direction of becoming that wife that you would like to be.
Do not look at this season as empty, or as a time in your life that does not serve a purpose. It is quite the opposite of empty, instead- it is full. Full of what? You might be wondering. It is full of opportunity. Opportunities to grow, stretch, improve, get closer to God, strengthen your prayer life, strengthen your relationships, heal, become whole, and more.
This is the time when you focus inwardly. Take a look at where you are right now and the future you– the woman (wife) that you are becoming. What is the difference between the two of you?
This season is the time to become her. Draw closer, and Become whole in Christ.
“You are not incomplete. And ye are complete in Him.” (Colossians 2:10)
Key takeaway:
You don’t have to wait for a ring to start becoming the woman God designed you to be. Wholeness begins with surrender, not status.
Week 2 – Confronting Lies That Hold You Back
This week was all about truth-telling. We exposed the lies—like “I’m too much” or “I’m running out of time”—and replaced them with what God actually says.
With so many voices that can be floating around in our heads, we must be careful to recognize the voice of the enemy. We must take every thought captive. Recognize where that thought originated. Satan is the father of lies. He does all that he can to keep you discouraged.
Sometimes it can be family members that mean well, but can also be adding pressure when they keep asking why you are still single.
It could be a past relationship that has you in a place of not fully understanding your value, not knowing your worth.
The comparison trap is such a dangerous place to live. Once you begin going down that path, it is sure to leave you feeling empty, unhappy, and discontent.
Some of the lies that we discussed during this week were:
❌ “I am not enough”
❌ “I missed my chance”
❌ “There’s something wrong with me”
❌ “I have to settle”
❌ “God is holding out on me”
The key to living outside of these lies is to learn to fight back with The Word of God. Replace each lie with a truth that comes directly from God’s word.
Here are the steps to replace lies with truth:
📖Identify the Lie
📖Find the Truth in Scripture
📖Speak Truth Out Loud Daily
📖Replace, Don’t Repeat
📖Keep a “Truth Journal”
📖Surround yourself with truth tellers
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.-John 8:32
Key takeaway:
You can’t become her while holding onto lies. Confront them. Replace them. And walk in truth—because she lives free.
Week 3 – Wife Before the Wedding
Marriage doesn’t magically transform you into a wife—God does that work now. We leaned into growing in character, integrity, and spiritual maturity long before the vows.
The scripture says, He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.-Prov. 18:22 This sounds like you must already be a wife before he finds you. You don’t just magically become a wife as you are walking down the aisle. You have to use the time now to become her.
Marriage doesn’t transform your character—it reveals it. So the work you do today matters more than you realize.
Whoever you are right now is who you will be once you get married. Wherever your heart is right now is where it will remain once you get married. Take a look inside and see what areas you need God to heal, fix, or renew. Invite Him into those spaces and allow Him to transform you.
During this time, you will begin to deepen your relationship with God and allow Him to shape your character. You will continue to grow in character and spiritual maturity.
Here are some areas of growth that we discussed during this week:
🌱Your walk with God
🌱Your emotional health
🌱Your identity in Christ
🌱Your character
🌱Your relationships with others
Her worth is far above rubies… Proverbs 31:10
Key takeaway:
Don’t wait for a husband to grow into who God has called you to be. Start becoming her now.
Week 4 – Praying with Purpose for Your Future Marriage
We got intentional about our prayers. Not just asking for a husband, but covering his heart, his purpose, and our own development in prayer.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective -James 5:16
You may be tempted to feel like praying for marriage is too personal or too specific, or maybe you shouldn’t be praying for someone that you have not met yet. God cares about every detail of your life- especially the desires He placed in your heart. Everything means everything, including your future marriage.
These prayers are intentional and full of purpose. Once you surrender your desires to God, He begins to change your desires so that they line up with His.
We also realized that prayer is preparation. It doesn’t just move the heart of God—it points our hearts to the direction of His will.
Here’s a quick recap of 7 things to pray for:
🙏Spiritual Growth and Maturity
🙏Emotional Healing From the Past
🙏 Patience and Contentment in the Waiting
🙏A Surrendered Heart and Willing Spirit
🙏His Relationship with God
🙏His Leadership and Character
🙏Protection Over His Mind and Heart
Key takeaway:
Don’t just wish for a godly marriage—pray for one. And trust that God is working, though you don’t see it yet.
Week 5 – Standards vs. Walls: What Are You Really Protecting?
We took an honest look at the boundaries we’ve built—asking if they come from Godly wisdom or hidden wounds. There’s a difference between standards and self-protection.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.-Proverbs 4:23
In this week’s post we talked about what a Godly standard actually is; how to recognize the fear that might be masquerading as wisdom; and gave you a clearer understanding of what you’re truly protecting and why it matters.
The way to determine a Godly standard as opposed to a wall that you have built is to examine the root of it.
We gave examples of some healthy biblical standards for relationships. Here are a few:
✝️He has a growing relationship with Christ
✝️He honors your boundaries- emotionally, sexually, spiritually
✝️He takes responsibility and walks in integrity
✝️ He respects your voice, values, and purpose he shows humility, not just ambition
✝️He communicates with honesty, not confusion
These are rooted in The Word of God. Very important!
You may not recognize when you have actually built walls. They may look like strength. They may sound like wisdom. Remember to ask yourself, “What is the root?”
Here is what a wall can sound like:
🧱 “I don’t need a man”
🧱 “He needs to be perfect”
🧱 “I’ll never let someone hurt me like that again”
🧱 “God is just keeping me hidden”- when really we are hiding ourselves
God calls us to guard our hearts, not harden them. When we’re healed, we can love wisely without hiding behind fear.
Key takeaway:
Standards reflect your trust in God. Walls reveal where you might still need healing. Let Him help you tell the difference.
Week 6 – Preparing for God’s Timing, Not Just Your Timeline
We closed the series by surrendering our timeline. God’s timing isn’t just different—it’s better. And He’s still working when we can’t see it. We must learn how to wait well. Not with frustration or fear—but with faith.
In His time, He makes all things beautiful.-Ecclesiastes 3:11
We talked about the tension between our personal timelines and God’s perfect timing. And we were reminded that delay isn’t denial—it’s often preparation.
You may have had a plan or a timeline that you created on your own. Birthdays keep passing. Bridal shower invitations and weddings keep happening. And your timeline still remains. You’ve began to wonder if God has forgotten about you. It can become painful.
The truth is, this season is not punishment. It is preparation. During this week we confronted the pressure of your timeline and learned how to fully embrace God’s. This is not about just waiting for marriage. It’s about learning to thrive during the wait.
Here are a few of the things we discussed along with scripture to help solidify the truth:
🌳The pressure of your own timeline-Meditate on Proverbs 19:21-Many are the plans and a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails
🌳God’s sovereignty over time-Meditate on Ecclesiastes 3:1-There is a time for everything, in this season for every activity under the heavens
🌳What it means to thrive in the Wait-Meditate on Isaiah 40: 31-But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint
Key takeaway:
God’s timing is part of His goodness. Trust the process, even when it doesn’t match your plan.
🪞Let’s Reflect Together
Before you rush into the next thing, take a moment to be still. Reflect. Journal. Pray. Growth isn’t just about learning new things—it’s about letting God plant those truths deep in your heart.
If you’ve journeyed through this series, I invite you to pause and process with the Lord using the questions below. Whether you grab your journal, open a note on your phone, or just sit quietly with God, let Him meet you right where you are.
💭 Reflection Questions:
- Which week impacted you the most, and why?
What topic challenged or encouraged you in a way that stuck with you? - What mindset or habit do you feel God nudged you to change?
Was there a lie you let go of, a wall you began to tear down, or a new rhythm you’ve started? - How are you already seeing growth in your single season?
Pause and celebrate—what fruit can you already see, even if it’s small?
You’re Still Becoming-And You’re Not Alone
If this series spoke to you—if it challenged you, encouraged you, or reminded you that your single season still holds purpose—I want you to know this:
You are not behind. You are not forgotten.
And you are not becoming her by yourself.
God is with you. And I’m cheering for you, too.
If you’re ready to keep growing, keep healing, and keep becoming the woman God created you to be, here’s what you can do next:
✅ Reflect on the series using the journal prompts above (or grab the downloadable reflection sheet [insert link if available]).
✅ Share this series with another woman who’s preparing for marriage with God at the center.
✅ Join my email list to be the first to hear when my upcoming 4-week mini coaching program launches—you won’t want to miss it!
✅ Comment below or message me: Which week impacted you the most?
Your journey matters. Your prayers matter. Your growth matters.
Let’s keep walking this out—one surrendered, intentional step at a time.
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her.–Luke 1:45
With love & purpose,
Tamyia 💛
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